Notes on content
It can be assumed that among the interested visitors some are affected by trauma. Therefore my explicit request: Do not open this page and devote yourself to other topics that are good for you.
My main theme in 2021 is „Breaking the silence“.
I break my silence because my limit is reached!
Who only talks about me and not with me, claims to know me, although he has not seen or spoken to me for many months or even very many years: Is not my friend.
People, who primarily only spread negative things about other people, do this in their small collective mostly with the intention to harm the other person, in order to thereby put themselves in a better light, to be able to make a downward comparison, and in such a way that they are not questioned.
Some of these negative messengers intentionally harmed me when I was trying to clean up my life and regain my footing after confiding in some of them.
They picked out the information, which they then knitted together into a monstrous construct of half-truths and even lies, and did everything, really everything, so that no one should get the idea to talk to me, to listen to me.
It is the same with those who made me believe that I was welcome with all my faults and quirks, even reduced me to them, but continued to pretend that everything was fine.
Unfortunately, I kept quiet for too long, for various reasons, some of which were very important. So it was easy for many to keep twisting the story, my story.
Now I am breaking my silence.
The trigger was minimal.
Excerpt Chapter 1
„In the beginning there was truth, but it had no chance of permanence because he made sure that a child he could not break had to start lying in order to survive.
The Beast sat at the table at noon and reminded us children to sit up straight, spoon our soup in silence and remain obedient afterwards.
He had broken our mother, who had silently accepted this and many other things for years without even a hint of resistance, so much so that I could not oppose him much without waking up the next morning with bruises all over my body.
That’s why I often wore long-sleeved sweaters in the summer and very rarely wore a dress.
I have often wondered what it would have been like if I had been allowed to just be a kid at 8 years old instead of trying to save my mother, one of my brothers, my grandmas and me…. „
Letter to Ms. Jule
I have taken your advice, and it feels right to have finally begun to clean up and let go, to finally close up a dust-free, musty old filing cabinet that had served for decades as a repository for the incomprehensible.
As you know, some of my observers and so-called friends have gone out of their way to drag out this process of cleaning up.
We both know exactly why.
That is why I immediately , some time ago, complied with your request and handed over my biography, like all documents, to my lawyer and two other trusted persons.
So I can now present excerpts here on my website in a very relaxed way, and no matter what may happen, nobody can still prevent the publication of the book.
Also all other stories, which I have written a long time ago and which can be proved to be from my pen, I have put into trustworthy hands as well, and had them authenticated and sealed as a possible proof.
I thank you very much that you also always believed in me and encouraged me not to give up,
You have always treated me respectfully, with all my faults, just as I am.
Few people, like you, have understood, very quickly even, how important it is to listen to all sides of a story in order to then be able to make a judgment.
Happy Easter and see you next week, here we go again.
Reading sample 2
„When people play judge and god“
What must have been going through my grandmother’s mind when the Americans left Saxony-Anhalt due to a change of occupation in July 1945 and she had to stay in the Soviet occupation zone with her then three children. Others fled because some were afraid of reprisals by the Russians. After all, many people at the time simply looked the other way or even participated, as it turned out. Grandma didn’t. So she didn’t have to fear reprisals or harassment from the Russians, even though Grandpa had been killed in the war and she became the mother of a fourth American occupation child.
She was given hell mainly by those who worshipped Hitler at the time and later pretended not to know what was happening in Gardelegen or Ausschwitz or elsewhere.
Such people pointed their fingers at my grandmother and played judge and god. It couldn’t have been more disgusting.
By the way, some people like to do that to distract from their own skeletons in the closet. People have played judge and god in my life as well. My luck is that most of them are still alive and I have some answers and questions that they will not like. Those who dance with the devil should be careful when the song changes, the devil does not compromise and does not let anyone out of his clutches voluntarily.
Reading sample 3
My last visit to my homevillage was almost 17zen years ago. It was one of those days, blacker than any night without moon and stars, when in the morning we left the place where hours before the incomprehensible unexpected happened. Yet it could have ended well when my mother forced me to tell my half-brother what his father had done to me long ago. Which was the reason for everything that happened after that and definitely would never have happened had what my mother was now expecting to hear from never happened.
And a village looked the other way.
Sometimes it seems to me as if it were yesterday when we were all standing in the kitchen and she suddenly insisted on being able to bear the truth, in which she completely unchecked fired her pent-up hatred, her powerlessness, her anger, her hurt in cruel word salvos in our direction and suddenly also began to lash out.
My brother followed my Mother suit, and both disappeared wordlessly into their rooms. With her diving away from reality, all that remained was a note that read, „Go around your hometown, never come back, because you remind me of my failure.“
The note was from my mother, and it took me years to comprehend what I am only now slowly coming to understand. Also, it is only now that I have been able to gather all the facts and finally shed light on many dark corners.
A village was silent
Cowardly turned inward
The mouths wide open
Now is the time
To clear up
Why they looked away where they should have helped